The Dentist

This was my week at the dentist. I am ashamed to say that I had not been to the dentist in years. Years. The longer I waited, the harder it became to go. I have taken the kids religiously, and my wife has gone regularly, having spent a small fortune on crowns and root canals a few years ago. But ol' dad waited until the right moment.

Actually, the experience was quite pleasant, if that term can be used of a dentist. My teeth were cleaned by a charming and engaging guy named Phil on Monday. He had never heard of Bill Cosby's bit on going to the dentist. The audio is here. Funniest thing I have ever heard, aside from the gorilla joke told by Pete Hammond to Tom Johnston and me driving him to SFO from Santa Cruz one rainy night. But I digress. So I made a copy of it on CD and gave it to Phil when I went in on Wednesday. Phil did exactly what Cosby's dentist did. As soon as he began working in my mouth, he would ask me questions! Why do dentists do that? I know as a preacher, I would love a captive audience like that.

This picture is of Bill Cosby who is revealing his t-shirt, which says, University of the Pacific , Arthur A. Dugoni School of Dentistry. Ha!

On Wednesday, I had three fillings replaced by Dr. Chen, who was fabulous. He worked fast, but thoroughly, and explained everything he was doing along the way. I appreciated it, as I am always curious about these things.

Back on Thursday to get a new filling, and one replaced (on the left side, the right side was done Wednesday.) This time, I saw, I kid you not, Dr. Fang. What a great name for a dentist! A nice Asian woman, who was not quite as good as Dr. Chen, but still plenty good.

So, I survived my week at the dentist. I now have a clean mouth with new fillings. Now I gotta keep it this way. Hello, Rotodent.

My childhood dentist in Minnesota was Dr. Dols, and he was brutal. A kind man, it was painful to see him. I do not think he believed in pain free dentistry. I think his philosophy was, if you get a cavity, it is gonna cost you. Perhaps this was intentional, to motivate us to brush and floss regularly. I looked up and found a Dr. William Dols practicing in Duluth, MN. I wonder if they are related.

My orthodontist as a kid in California was Dr. Ciccone, I am not sure of the spelling. He was a huge guy, and had played football at Cal back in the day. He was great.

When Beth and I got married, we had no health or dental insurance. There was a dental clinic a few miles from our house, so we frequented it. I was OK, until one day I had a five hour teeth cleaning from hell. The clinic was for dental students to practice their technique. The upside was practice for them, and free for us. Well, it was worth every penny I paid that day. I learned that there is nothing "free" about it. At the end of this bumbling, long, teeth cleaning, I would have rather paid money, if I had had any. So, my fear of dentists greatly increased.

I have been pondering this in relation to church. I know I should brush and floss regularly, but do not. (Still, my teeth are very good, after really not seeing a dentist for over ten years, I only had one little new cavity!) I know I should go see the dentist, as they really want me to keep my teeth in good shape, but I do not go. In the same way, many people know they need to go to church, but they feel about church the same way I feel about the dentist.

My last checkup was 2001, five years ago, and I did not go back for a followup. Like I said, the more I waited, procrastinated, the harder it was. When I got to the dentist, they knew that I had not been there in five years. I was expecting a long lecture, some scolding, and large helpings of shame and guilt. And yet, I got none of that. They just treated me as another patient, and encouraged me to do what I already knew I should be doing.

Perhaps people feel that way about church. They fear that if they go to church, some celestial being will produce a report card.

"Yes, Mr. Smith. I see here that you last attended church in the Carter administration, and at that service you promised to come back soon. Sir, that was over 30 years ago! Where have you been hiding? What have you been doing? Drop down and give me a thousand confessions!"

Perhaps that is not the church's attitude towards folks who have not attended in a while. But I think that may be what the folks who have not attended in a while THINK the church's attitude will be. And who needs more shame and guilt in their lives? So, one more week, one more month, one more decade of avoiding church, and the good news that dwells therein.

Anyway, I am glad this weeek at the dentist is over.